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Page name: Zombie Apocalypse Awareness [Logged in view] [RSS]
2006-01-07 01:00:10
Last author: That Fuzz
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Zombie Apocalypse Awareness (You are here!)
Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Part 2 (To continue...)
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ZASP (The wiki we've sort of merged with! Check it out for more zombie action!)

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ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE ALERT!



What will you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? This is serious business; zombies will kill you. They are dead. They want you dead. You need to have some idea how to overcome this problem. I am here to help.

First, you need to know that not everyone dies when zombies attack, but everyone dead becomes a zombie. Hence, unless you want to be a zombie, which you don't, you have to stay alive. Trust me - being a zombie isn't exactly the most fun thing there is to do with your time. Anyway, there are a few stages to this type of apocalypse. I will now list them, and the tips for surviving a zombie attack. If you fail any of them, there will be dire consequences! These include, but are not limited to:

I. Loss of store looting privileges.
II. Loss of moving into a nice house privileges.
III. Loss of sex privileges.

Phase 1: The First Zombie

For some reason, you will never encounter eight zombies your first time. There will be only one. You will be getting the mail and bang...zombie coming at you. This isn't to say that zombies move that fast. They don't. Therefore, the first zombie should really not be that dangerous to you if you keep constant vigilance. Just remember this simple 5 step plan:

Step 1: Do not try to fight the zombie. Although he's slow, he's not weak. He wants to eat you, but you probably don't want to eat him. (Unless you like zombie meat, you sick bastard!) Quickly, go inside and shut the door and alert a close friend that knows this process as well. Whatever you do, do not alert the media. They are probably zombies too by now. Famous people are always the first to go.

Step 2: Don’t stand near a window. They're easy to break, and don't require much intelligence to do so. Zombies love things that break easily without much intelligence, and, therefore, zombies love windows.

Step 3: Get a weapon. A kitchen knife isn’t going to cut it. I am talking a weapon. A katana is good, but a shotgun is better. Something to get the zombie from far away. Think distance. Remember, you don’t want get up in the zombie’s grill. Speaking of grills, remember this: Fire is not your friend. Lighting a zombie on fire only leaves you with a zombie on fire. To my knowledge, no stupid zombie has ever been able to use fire without the help of a stupid human.

Step 4: There's only one way to 'kill' a zombie, and that's to take out his head. To do this, you may want to immobilize him first. Remember, a zombie that can’t walk isn’t nearly as dangerous. This isn’t to say he’s going to stop coming, he’s just not nearly as tough to take out. Many people have made the mistake of leaving a legless zombie alone. They tend to not be there when you come back. When dealing with zombies, deal with here and now. They have a way of surprising. Make sure his head is not attached to his body before going on to step 5. Otherwise, all the steps before this were a waste, and you have failed your fellow survivors. Good job.

Step 5: You are going to need to find a base in which to hold up. Notify everyone you know that has read this, (and therefore should not be a zombie) and tell them to drive as fast as they can to your base. Make sure you get a good mix of girls and guys together. This is going to be a long apocalypse. If you have only guys looking down the barrel of an apocalypse, you are going to have a sausage fest. Nobody likes a sausage fest. Not even zombies.

Phase 2: Supplies & Barricades

It's a zombie apocalypse. The clock is ticking. Don’t worry how Zombie #1 found you... the rest are on their way. Forget your neighbors, and forget your uninformed friends. They are zombies now. Your goal in this phase is to fortify your base and stock up on supplies. This is the most important phase to survival. There are 5 more steps to follow in this phase:

Step 1: Assess your base. You need to know your choke points and where zombies are coming in. My house, for example, is a very bad choice for an anti-zombie base. We have 3 doors, and one of them glass, through which the zombies could come through very easily. If my house HAD to be the base, we would seal off the first floor from the second, by barricading the stairs, and barricade the front door. I might also unplug the doorbell. Some zombies can impersonate pizza men pretty damn well. For informative purposes, however, I will use a 4 floor house as an example.

Floor 1 - Basement: Because this floor has no doors leading outside, and only one door leading up, this floor is generally useless to both you and the zombies. If you go down here, you're cornered. We don't want that.
Floor 2 - Temporary Anti-Zombie Zone (TAZZ): While the above floors are key for storage and sleeping areas, this floor is not. It will be used only for a short time period - Sooner or later, somebody on watch duty will slip up and you will lose this floor to the zombies. This isn't to say you shouldn't go on guard duty down here; just stay alert, and you should be fine. As long as you have any doors leading outside boarded up, you should have no reason to worry unless you have tendencies to fall asleep. Be sure to barricade the door leading from the 2nd to the 3rd floor between guard duty changes, so that any mistakes won't cost the whole survival team their lives. Don't waste lives; you'll need as many as you can get.
Floor 3 - Main Anti-Zombie Zone (MAZZ): This floor will serve as sleeping quarters while TAZZ is still in human hands. You will need the space. After TAZZ is lost to the zombies, you should no longer sleep in this room. It should be guarded night and day. By then, you will have lost enough survivors to the zombies that you can sleep on floor 4.
Floor 4 - Observatory/Storage (OS): As the name suggests, OS has the purposes of both observatory, and storage. Later on in the apocalypse, sleeping will also be done on this floor. This room is key - If you were to store you supplies in the basement, you'd be screwed. The zombies would be waving beer and pork rinds, which they do not eat, in your sorry face. This room must have a window in order to serve its second function correctly. Otherwise, this will last a very long time. That is not to say you should carve one out; open holes are good for zombies to crawl into. This floor is where you watch the zombies to find their weakness. This will come into play later in the apocalypse. If all else fails, this room is your last stand. And if it fails to serve even that purpose, you can always jump out the window. This is only recommended in extreme cases, as there will probably be more zombies outside than inside.

Step 2: Break off into teams. Three teams.

Team One - Barricaders: Make sure somebody smart leads this team. This team, obviously, secures the house. This includes barricading doors, boarding up windows, and closing curtains. This team goes to Home Depot, and buys lots of wood and nails. Remember that you must hurry on any trip to the outside at this point; zombies tend to grow in numbers quickly and come out of nowhere. This team will take out all entrances to the house. Close off the last entrance after teams two and three are inside. Here is team one's most important step: Take out the floorboards on the stairs. A small price to pay for slowing down zombies as long as possible. Zombies can’t climb, you can. Don’t give them a walkway to walk up.

Team Two - Weapons: Get some men to do this. I hate to be stereotypical, but women have absolutely NO taste in guns. They'll pass up an ak-47 for a puppy. Speaking of which, you might want to get both. In past instances, zombies have not harmed dogs. You might want to consider strapping dynamite to some puppies and throwing them out the window. This, also, women will not do. If some girl in the group gets unusually attached to a dog she doesn’t even know, throw her to the zombies, or else she’ll later risk everyone’s life to save the dog. Now, then. Make a list, and go and get some guns. Keep in mind that fire is not a good choice. You want weapons that you can use: Chainsaws (remember, though, while these may look cool, they put you unnecessarily close!), shotguns, rifles, pistols, hand grenades (be careful!), dynamite, etc. The bigger the better. Blunt swinging weapons and small stabbing weapons aren’t gonna cut it. You can’t just STAB a zombie. Also, buy more weapons than you need. You will lose some on guard duty. Also remember: you're gonna want to store some weapons in odd places where you could be trapped. I don't know how many times I've been cornered by a zombie without a weapon. I'll tell you right now: NOT FUN.

Team Three - Food: Remember, the zombies will probably kill the electric and water company people. Though the water will still be on for a while, don't drink it. Zombies like to swim in your water. The electricity probably will not stay on. You might get lucky and they will leave the power on, but zombie apocalypses tend to knock out power by accident. Anyway, get food. Not meat. Dried, canned food, things that last forever. You will probably die of hunger or thirst, even if you secure your house right, so food is a priority.

None of the teams should be afraid to steal. If they run into any survivors, be sure to run them down on the situation, and initiate them into the group. Be careful about this, however, as noobs have been known to fuck stuff up. Goddamn noobs.

Step 3: Game plan. Make sure everyone is on the same page, and make sure you know your exits. Figure out who is going to go crazy. Kill them now. If left unattended, this person could leave the door open during guard duty and sell you out to the zombies. Elect a new president. The current one is now dead. Make sure you have a good escape route if things go wrong and a way to get to an escape vehicle. Have it loaded with supplies. Hide weapons at fall back positions. Leave the safeties on. Although zombies have not been known in the past to learn to use guns, you never know. Don't make it easy for them. Remember, you will lose your weapon. Have a backup.

Step 4: Look to your left and right. These people will probably die. This is a zombie attack. Things go wrong. Accept it.

Step 5: Get to know everyone. There can be no surprises or secrets. If someone has been bitten, and you know about it, kill them. In the end it won’t help you to hide a zombie, because they will kill you. You'll be like, "Gee, thanks. I kept your secret, and you kill me for it? You're a real pal." Zombies keep no promises. Also, no one leaves. No one goes to their parents' or to their boyfriends'/girlfriends'. These people should have been prepared. Have the president make a schedule. No one oversleeps. And no one, absolutely no one tries to reason with a zombie. Everyone else is dead. The government isn’t coming; the military might be alive, but they aren’t coming to your house for a long time. It’s just you and your companions. I recommend the buddy system. If you are alone, you will probably die. I don't know how many times ignorant people have let their friend go alone to check out some noise, only to lose them to a shitload of zombies. Think smart, people.

Continued in Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Part 2!

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Navigation List:
Zombie Apocalypse Awareness (You are here!)
Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Part 2 (To continue...)
Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Members (Go here to join the awareness cause!)
Awareness Banners (Go here to find banners to put in your house!
ZASP (The wiki we've sort of merged with! Check it out for more zombie action!)

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2005-12-17 [Lethargic Panda]: Cold is annoying, but so is hot. >.>

2005-12-17 [Kisa_sama]: Climate controll would suck though. o.o

2005-12-18 [Lethargic Panda]: Not if I were the controller. o.o

2005-12-18 [Kisa_sama]: I don't know if I would trust you with that many buttons..

2005-12-18 [Lethargic Panda]: You'll be the first to...be...chosen. >.> *acts suspiciously*

2005-12-18 [Kisa_sama]: Chosen for what.....? o.o

2005-12-18 [Lethargic Panda]: That's part of my suspiciousness. >.< Gah. I'm going through all these wikis I own, that stoopid little peoples editted. v.v

2005-12-18 [Kisa_sama]: o.o *pats* I'm sorry. Fix it and repremand them? o.O

2005-12-18 [Lethargic Panda]: ...*is* It's just taking...a while. I mean, some of them...are intelligent, and simply didn't notice, however, most of them are those 'cool' kids that call everything a poser, and get testy when called posers by others of their own clique, etc.

2005-12-18 [Kisa_sama]: *rolls eyes* Yeah I know them alittle too well. -.-

2005-12-18 [Lethargic Panda]: Don't we all. So, what's new with you?

2005-12-18 [Kisa_sama]: Besides being stalked by some random weird guy. Nothing.

2005-12-19 [Lethargic Panda]: ...o.o How's he stalking? And where's he from?

2005-12-19 [Kisa_sama]: o.o He's stalking from WATCHING ME FROM OUTSIDE MY GOD FREAKING WINDOW!!!! ><U And he's from where I am. And the cops havent found him yet.

2005-12-20 [Lethargic Panda]: o.O Is this...furreals?

2005-12-21 [Kisa_sama]: Yes. Oo Why would I joke about having a stalker?

2005-12-25 [Lethargic Panda]: ...Because...you want to impress us. *nods*

2005-12-25 [That Fuzz]: You've failed, sir. o_o

2005-12-25 [Lethargic Panda]: ...That stings. >.>

2005-12-26 [Kisa_sama]: Yes. -.- SOOO I'mpressing that I have a stalker.

2005-12-26 [Lethargic Panda]: Cough. <.<

2005-12-26 [Kisa_sama]: Your so weird. X3

2005-12-27 [That Fuzz]: *holds back the urge*

2005-12-27 [Lethargic Panda]: ...o.o Am not. And...x.x

2005-12-27 [That Fuzz]: Not THAT urge, perv.

2005-12-27 [Kisa_sama]: ...O.o.....

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...Everything Fuzz does relates to his being a perv, so...you can assume. x.o

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: ..X.X..I don't want to assume! *covers her ears* x.x!!

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...<.< It's too late...the thoughts are seeping in!

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: No they're not! X.X!!

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...Right now, at this moment, you're thinking about dirty Fuzz-ness. !!!!!

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: NASTY! ><! *tackles* ><!!

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: *is tackled* >.> Your profound love for me shall not save your mind from total corruption.

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: I wont alow you to totaly corrupt me. ><U Evil!

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...I'm not trying to...it's Fuzz!

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: Uhh huh! Sure, thats what they all say. The walls have ears you know. >>

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...They have more than ears.

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: ..O.O..

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: *nods* Eyes, noses, and teeth. x.o

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: Teeth?! OO Thats horrible x.x I don't want to get bitten..*watches wall closely*

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: *points at the other three* There is no safe! ...Oh yeah...and...FUZZ DIRTINESS!@!!@! >.>

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: @@ ..@.< i'm going to hurt you if you keep making me think about that! ><!

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...:P Try. x.o And...you...is...always online. O.O

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: Am not. -.- I leave the computer running and walk away.

2005-12-28 [Lethargic Panda]: ...And magically return to respond right after comments are made? >.>

2005-12-28 [Kisa_sama]: *blinks* O.o Sure? Here want to try the dissapearing act?

2005-12-29 [Lethargic Panda]: No thanks...*points at a poster of Fuzz being pervie* <.< >.>

2005-12-30 [That Fuzz]: Photoshopped!

2005-12-30 [Lethargic Panda]: The only photoshopping was to make it look more blue, though!

2005-12-30 [That Fuzz]: That's what they all say.

2005-12-31 [Lethargic Panda]: xD Randomly, months ago, there was a girl on elftown who Laura noticed had photoshopped her thighs, to make them look thinner. I didn't notice at first, but after pointed out, it was painfully obvious...and a very bad photoshopping.

2005-12-31 [That Fuzz]: Rofl. That's sad.

2005-12-31 [Lethargic Panda]: Fuzz would do the same. >.>

2005-12-31 [That Fuzz]: Photoshop... his thighs?

2006-01-01 [nokaredes]: We're no longer welcome...?!

2006-01-03 [Lethargic Panda]: *nods* And...what? Also, *notes* The last two words of your username, put together...are almost your name! xD Given the wording, it makes sense, in a sorta clever way.

2006-01-03 [That Fuzz]: o.o

2006-01-03 [Lethargic Panda]: Allie. >.>

2006-01-04 [nokaredes]: "My username is lies, all lies!" Just one too many L's.

2006-01-04 [That Fuzz]: I got that from Panda's first comment. o.o

2006-01-04 [nokaredes]: ...suuuure...

2006-01-04 [Lethargic Panda]: *thinks outside the box* >.>

2006-01-04 [Lethargic Panda]: Err...Fuzz...ZASP and more importantly, Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide...x.x

2006-01-04 [nokaredes]: Well, I've seen ZASP...but I didn't see that other part. >_> Someone should ask [Kai Crewger] where exactly she found it "on the internet".

2006-01-05 [Lethargic Panda]: http://i8balut.tripod.com/id25.html x.o Making a virtual clone of a preexisting wiki is irritating, regardless...not to mention making little edits, and not accrediting any of it to the originator is illegal-ish.

2006-01-05 [Dil*]: yeah, what's with that?

2006-01-05 [That Fuzz]: Not to worry; I have that site cited on part two. That is indeed where I started from on this. However, it's obvious that those other guys stole from me, not the "original" I started from. Either way, they didn't cite anyone but, "the internet", and that, sir, is quite wrong.

2006-01-05 [Dil*]: I could report them if you want :)

2006-01-05 [Alfirin Lindlea]: Hi, would just like to point out I reeeeally don't think that Kai was aware that it originally came from here, but I'm positive it'll be removed ASAP And erm... what's wrong with ZASP? (Just saw it mentioned)

2006-01-05 [nokaredes]: I liked ZASP...except everyone seems to have a hidden gun...I only know of two people with guns...no, three. >_>

2006-01-05 [Alfirin Lindlea]: Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that - ah well, it'll protect us ;) Heh was worried there was something dreadfully awfully wrong with it then >.<

2006-01-05 [nokaredes]: And if zombies came, I'd take my computer and the food under my bed. And my mom's axe in the garage. Then again, I live in that "populated area" in a one story house, so according to either wiki, I think I'm doomed. <_<

2006-01-05 [That Fuzz]: Unless you have friends with 4-level houses. xD          No worries, I don't mind ZASP, I just don't really like it when people call work that's not theirs... theirs. o.O

2006-01-05 [nokaredes]: I guess it's two stories, if you count the basement...actually, I could easily live inderneath my basement stairs...if your guide didn't said to stay out of the basement. >_>

2006-01-05 [Alfirin Lindlea]: Heh basement = worst place. Me and my mates have it all planned out - going to the old mill (Where I got the idea for ZASP from). Have you ever read "Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide" by Max Brooks?

2006-01-05 [nokaredes]: I know, but my basement has windows a cat couldn't get through, and there are three doors between the outside and the closet, not including the closet itself. And it's big, for a closet...and no, I haven't...

2006-01-06 [That Fuzz]: No, I haven't, but I've heard of it. Have you read it?

2006-01-06 [Alfirin Lindlea]: Yeah got it over Christmas, it's pretty much EVERYTHING you ever needed to know in case of zombie attack

2006-01-06 [nokaredes]: I'll have to ask for it next Christmas-time then >_>

2006-01-07 [That Fuzz]: I might buy it! :P

2006-01-07 [That Fuzz]: Alright. We've added ZASP to our navigation list. Not only that, but I've added it to the top as well as the bottom, so that it looks cool when you move from page to page; the page you're at is bolded! :D

2006-01-08 [Lethargic Panda]: You have too much time on your hands. xD

2006-01-09 [That Fuzz]: Pretty much. o.o

2006-01-09 [Lethargic Panda]: It's because...Chloe...calls me! Oooooooooh.

2006-01-10 [That Fuzz]: Lies. LIES!

2006-01-10 [Lethargic Panda]: <.< You wish.

2006-01-11 [curator angelus]: ross is being fed to the zombies, me and brooke desided on that lol. god its been awhiel since i last visited this

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: Such a shame.

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: I missed you :D

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: Now he'll think we missed him. >.< Way to go Allie.

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: I said I missed him, Pandaman...learn to read.

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: I'll learn to read when you learn to use the litterbox.

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: I already use a litterbox.

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: The potted fern is not a litterbox. >:O

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: Of course it is. <_<

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: *gets the spray bottle*

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: *steals it* *gives it too the poor*

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: ! I shall give your fake leg to the poor, so you're forced to hobble.

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: Fine then. You do that.

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: *does* Oooooh! Take that!

2006-01-12 [nokaredes]: *takes the leg back* :P

2006-01-12 [Lethargic Panda]: ...You just stole from the poor. >.>

2006-01-13 [curator angelus]: thanks panda, i missed you too lol, but do i know this girl?

2006-01-13 [nokaredes]: I would answer that question, but it was obviously directed to Panda, and not me.

2006-01-14 [Lethargic Panda]: Erm, I think you met her once...or twice, perhaps not.

2006-01-14 [curator angelus]: no i meant to ask allie the question

2006-01-14 [nokaredes]: ...I don't know, do you?

2006-01-14 [curator angelus]: sorry but i don't know you, well my name is char

2006-02-25 [CR deleted]: After watching Shaun of the Dead, my friends and I had a debate about where the best place to be during a zombie invasion. In the end, we decided that a liquor store would be the best place to be. It has giant bars covering all exits, and lots of liquor with which to make moltov cocktails or get smashed.

2006-03-06 [That Fuzz]: I kind of like the idea of a mall, as in Dawn of the Dead, having all the supplies, not to mention things to do when you get bored. Plus, even if the main mall entrance was breached, there are many stores with bars in front of the entrances to fall back to.

2006-03-12 [nokaredes]: Yea, but you know people would get distracted by things...like arcades...

2006-03-12 [curator angelus]: i don't think so, maybe the zombies or someone like me but besides that, i don't think someone would do that

2006-03-12 [nokaredes]: I don't know anyone who wouldn't be distracted by at least one store in a mall...or the food court...and the food court at the mall closest to me is almost half glass...

2006-03-12 [curator angelus]: well true, i don't go to the mall much, well i like justin's idea anyways.

2006-03-13 [Lethargic Panda]: ...Fuzz lover.

2006-03-14 [curator angelus]: what? well i am not to keen on disagring after what justin did to danny

2006-03-14 [Lethargic Panda]: ...And what was that?

2006-03-14 [curator angelus]: justin punched danny so hard that danny fell to the ground

2006-03-14 [Lethargic Panda]: ...o.o; That's it?

2006-03-14 [curator angelus]: no i also liked justin's reason, i could take a punch from justin anytime unless its a low blow

2006-03-15 [Lethargic Panda]: I didn't ask.

2006-03-15 [curator angelus]: sorry

2006-05-18 [curator angelus]: that was wierd as hell

2006-05-22 [Lethargic Panda]: He really has a gift at wrecking conversation. xD

2006-06-02 [That Fuzz]: Seenit. Cyanide and happiness.

2006-06-02 [Lethargic Panda]: Haven't we all?

2006-06-02 [curator angelus]: thanks alot panda

2006-06-03 [Lethargic Panda]: You're welcome. o.o;

2006-06-09 [curator angelus]: (was beign sarcastic)

2006-06-14 [Lethargic Panda]: Bad at that too, I see.

2006-07-10 [Zapinc]: *Drop pod lands along with three heavy bolter turrets*  Zapinc is here, things are gonna get queer.....wait...bad ryme, Who makes up this shit?.......oh-me....

2006-07-11 [Zapinc]: Hey! Anyone here???

2006-07-12 [nokaredes]: Nope! :D

2006-07-13 [Zapinc]: *peers into bushes, where the sound came from*  hmmm.... *Fires bolter rounds into the bush, a sqeal of pain come out of it*

2006-07-14 [Doormat]: Warhammer foo!

2006-07-14 [Zapinc]: I HATE warhammer the tabletop game, its soooo GAY GG!!!, but the online RTS is the best RTS ive EVER played (If there are better RTS' let me know)

2006-07-15 [Doormat]: Why the bolter references than...Dang foolio

2006-07-15 [Zapinc]: that was a mistake, i ment mr777(Lol, i have one! XD), but im bloody tyired..

2006-07-23 [kay-chan]: I looked but I couldn't find it... and I thought ye might want to see it because it's pretty funny and directly relates to this page. http://www.archive.org/details/How_to_Survive_a_Zombie_Epidemic

2006-08-12 [kessan]: This whole thing is fuckin hilarious....congrats to whoever wrote it.

2006-10-07 [purple ferret]: I would just like to say that I have decided not to kill anyone for the comment about girls and their fucking liking of anything with lots of fuzz and big eyes. I like destructive things, and I like them a lot. Anyone that wants to prep for a zombie-takeover talk to Muave Mongoose, he's a fucking expert.

2006-10-07 [Zapinc]: Do you hear that? That is the sound of approaching war, pressure is mounting between the The waffle army and their enemys, the oppressive Muffins, and unless they get more recruits soon, the waffle army will be overrun, as they are outnumbered 33:1 by the Facist Muffins, and they threaten to destroy all that of which the Waffle people have worked and died for, the doughnuts may look like a tempting treat to die for, by the waffles are the only true king of breakfast yummies. This is the time to act, this is the time to fight back against the Facists pigs - Join The waffle army now, find yourself a Regiment, grab a badge and defend the Waffles with your life. For without Waffles, without YOU.....All is lost......

Commander Zap of The Waffle army, salutes you!

2006-10-23 [M_Sinner]: Originally said by one of my Fellow Moderators (Medesha) at another site, "If a Zombie apocalypse does happen, I wouldn't want to be with [anarchist punk rockers]... I'll want to be with a kentucky hillbilly who listens to Toby Kieth."

Power to hillbillies with guns, guys. Power to them.

2006-10-23 [lacklustre]: One thing I've discovered from working on the set of a zombie movie is that regardless of whether you can see the camera or not. Zombies are terrifying, especially when your having to run for your life from them. But since I am a big guy most zombie have to really have the mass or enough brain mass to k now how to tackle or grab me. Which they didn't or when they tried they got knocked down or away from me. Which in turn kept the people behind me from being grabbed. The movie in question is www.risenthemovie.com It's not out yet but it will be at some point in 2007. Anyways I learned to not fear zombies and that a fire poker can be a very effective weapon against the real thing. Katana's are not sharp unless you sharpen them and the real thing is either a heirloom or sold that way for more money than your first born is worth. So learn to use baseball bats, strength train!, take target shooting classes and learn how to join mass looting when it becomes acceptable. >.> This guide has got it for the most part. Good job.

2006-10-23 [Zapinc]: Im not bothered to read that....

2006-10-23 [Sedition]: zombies cant swim,why not just hijack a boat and make it to a small island thats big enough to house animals and shiz for food?start mapping people!(though i should state that islands lack looting and big houses.you can still have the sex though)

2006-10-23 [Zapinc]: WOOO - SEX!!!!! WOOOO!!!!

2006-10-23 [Zapinc]: Has any of you ever played - Zombie attck? Its a REAL LIFE Zombie training game, no computors, no damage counters, no dice, THE REAL SHIT!!!

Rules
1 handgun - 7 bullets
1 shotgun - 6 bullets
1 Battle knife (Can be thrown, but cant be retreived)
1 Grenade
1 Special weapon of choice (Can range from personal Fave-Gatteling gun, to, say, a 'PWANT' Sticker)

1 Zombie
The outcome - EVERONE GETS KILLED, NO MATTER HOW MANY TRAINEES!!!!!

2006-10-23 [Sedition]: _>

2006-10-23 [lacklustre]: wow. IRL I got a .22lr with a scope and a brick of a thousand bullets. Low caliber but all I need to do is hit the back of the neck or the temples to kill it. And I have access to much more if I need it.

2006-10-23 [Sedition]: me and me friend can get a hold of some SWAT rifles,so we are pretty straight,plus we can get ahold of the armor as well.

2006-10-23 [Lothuriel]: This Rocks!!!

2006-10-24 [lacklustre]: Yeah I my uncle's vest out in the shop and he modded it to fit a ceramic plate. Grant it'll weigh thirty pounds. It'll save you from people trying to shoot at you. A.W.Y.F. or always watch your flanks. Cause that is the direction that zombies and violent scavengers come from usually. I've ran over a dozen drills using paint ball guns and two drills using unloaded real guns. I know how to deal with zombies in the inital outbreak. I also have skill at locating and learning from manuals. Which means I know where to scavenge. Of course it's cool to have food but propane stoves and reusable mess kits are a must after power, electricity and gas go off.

2006-10-24 [curator angelus]: how many of the original memembers remain? i am the guy who does corrections

2006-10-24 [lacklustre]: of my crew. Everyone of my five man squad excluding me(have a blood disease that affects only me.) and my other friend who is in jail is serving in Iraq right now. We aren't about accuracy so much so about running the drill and making despite anything stacked against us. Generally speaking we can be loaded up and rallied at my house within thirty minutes(if everyone is in town) Of course murphy's law waits for no one so you really gotta watch your ass.) But our initial mission is to make sure that as many people as possible survive so that way the human race in the regional area may be maintained so we can rebuild quickly.

2006-10-25 [curator angelus]: sounds like you plan well

2006-10-25 [lacklustre]: I plan to the best of my ability. I DO NOT have the training of my friends or the physique of them but I can improvise well. I've had paranoia and fear to thank for that. When shit hits the fan you can't hesitate too long or your seconds cause lives and harm to others.

2006-10-25 [Zapinc]: You all need to have a 'Zombie attack' training session, youve probably never been in a zombie situation, and the things you say when your not under attack, you completly abandon during the real life situation, say, [lacklustre] said hed simply hit their temples to kill them, but if you strike them, it WONT kill them, and youll end up being killed, distance is EVERYTHING when it comes to battle, EXPERIENCE is the key to survival!!! THATS why simply getting guns and locking doors wont help, you need to know your enemy before you fight them, thats what INTEL is for!

2006-10-25 [lacklustre]: no you need an attack to render the brain useless. Hollow points work well for this cause they mushroom inside of the target with heat and metal doing so. If you don't kill it the first time then fire a second. And in case you been reading the 2nd page of this guide there is further explanation to operation.

2006-10-25 [Zapinc]: A mediam density 8 shaku sword would be the perfect weapon against all human Zombies...

Hold on...What if...The ANIMALS become zombies!!!!! OMFG!!! Theyll kill us all!!!  If you had a handgun, and you fought a zombie dog, it would rip you to shreds!!! Ahhh! Bolloxs

What do we do!?!?!

2006-10-31 [FireGypsy]: Omfg this is awesome!

2006-10-31 [Zapinc]: Lol

2006-10-31 [lacklustre]: actually you don't need a handgun you need a flame thrower and mines although razor wire works fine as well.

2006-10-31 [FireGypsy]: Apparently you didnt read this page! All fire does to a zombie....is makes a zombie on fire, still coming after you!

2006-10-31 [lacklustre]: of course it is that's why you've got to knock it down
and keep it away from you.

2006-11-01 [Zapinc]: Itll get back up, its not as thick as some Macdonalds manager! But Razor wire is good, just cut off the head, tie one end to a post and the other to a large metal think and throw it, itll swing round ad decapitate it!
(Just remember to get out of its way)

2006-11-01 [lacklustre]: actually make shit pit falls that are twenty by twetny with spikes usually work well. Of course they'll fill up fast if it's a horde attack.

2006-11-01 [Zapinc]: Stairs are the ULTIMATE stronghold

2006-11-04 [Zapinc]: I have invested in new Zombie training equiptment ^o^ Yay! £35 well spent for 216 hours of Zombie killing ^.^

2006-11-16 [Zapinc]: After a recent session in my Zombie apocolypse training facility, it has come apparent that a medical kit is utterly vital, so is siver items and high carbon rods

Im not making any of this up...no one beleives me.....do they?

2006-11-19 [Zapinc]: random...

2006-11-19 [Sedition]: you must train,schrineholm

2006-11-20 [Zapinc]: That game is tricky, makes no snese

2006-11-20 [Sedition]: really?i found it easy.camera is a bit annoying though during combat.

2006-11-21 [Zapinc]: Thats exactly what i dont understand

2006-11-21 [Sedition]: the camera follows your mouse but scrolls back to your soldiers when you move the arrow down to the command bar.read the instructions.

2006-11-21 [Zapinc]: okok, i hate instructions

2006-11-21 [Sedition]: ...kay,their sorta there so you know how to use stuff,but whatever..

2006-11-22 [Zapinc]: <img:img/mood/10246_1112482186.jpg> Zombies-Arrrg!

2006-11-22 [Sedition]: ...-pets-

2006-11-22 [Zapinc]: Pets? where?

2006-11-23 [Sedition]: -points into the zombie pit-

2006-11-25 [Zapinc]: Do they know any tricks?

2006-12-14 [Zapinc]: You Otaku? Go to OPAS IMMIDIATELY

2007-02-07 [FireGypsy]: Hey wait a minute, why do you mention getting supplies as "buying" things? It's a zombie apocolypse for christ's sake!! You don't just run out to Home Depot and "buy" wood and nails in a goddamn zombie apocolypse!!!

2007-02-07 [Zapinc]: Whatev - the creator is no longer with us I dont think, probably sitting in his stronghold clutching his shotgun chanting "Not my blood, Not my Blood...."

2007-02-07 [FireGypsy]: Haha!!

2007-02-08 [Zapinc]: Whatev *Leaves*

2007-04-08 [curator angelus]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzkJbWl45kU

stupid i know, but hey, what isn't?

2008-04-20 [The Dark Wolf]: on Team Two - Weapons the hole girl thing is a lode of crap.

2009-02-02 [Lothuriel]: I am going to advertise this wiki in Zombies and all that jazz! Hope that's alright.

2009-03-03 [nokaredes]: That Fuzz has dropped off the face of the internet, but if I see him on here or MSN I will be sure to tell him.

2009-03-03 [Lothuriel]: It's still a cool wiki, hehe

2009-03-21 [curator angelus]: or i can tell that fuzz myself, we are both in the same high school and i see him every once in awhile

2009-04-24 [The Dark Wolf]: MP 5k... I'm a girl and if thats a bad gun you dont know crap about weapons.

2009-11-06 [Doormat]: It's a bad gun because it doesn't have a stock, so it'll be inaccurate due to it's heavy recoil. You are not Neo.

2009-11-07 [kay-chan]: Yeah, I'm Neo. Jeez.

2009-11-07 [Doormat]: PS: Even special forces (ex. the SAS) have issues with the recoil+lack of stopping power of the MP5 (and this is the one with the perma-stock too). 

Your mom is Neo. :P

For weapons, I'd probably choose you, Pikachu Kriss Super V

<img:http://www.gunpundit.com/2008/kriss_crb_so.jpg>

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